OK, a more personal one just before the weekend. I hope it resonates with many others.

The particular loneliness of the sole business owner.

First some obvious caveats:

This is not about lacking support - colleagues, peers, connections, friends and family are incredibly supportive and the team are endlessly capable, hungry and load-bearing.

This is not about workload - Again, I have a great team (shhh don’t tell them I said that again) and despite it being a small company I am fortunate to spend most of my time working ‘on the business and not in the business’ as the much-touted biz-speak spouts.

This is not about being unhappy - I love the job. The good, the bad and the ugly.

And of course, many other jobs and lives are more challenging, I’m not for one second trying to compare myself to others in far less fortunate situations. This is about the peculiarities of being that weird beast - sole business owner.

No, this about the other thing. The oft talked about in the well trodden cliche:

The buck stops here…

I don’t have co-founders, shareholders or an executive board with the same skin in the game as I do. That constant low-level hum of pressure and (often) stress of running a business for those reliant upon it belongs to me. Now to be clear, I wanted this and want this. Owning and running a business was always my ultimate destination whether I knew it or not. It’s been a pretty predictable and natural journey to where I am now and I don’t regret one second of it. However, that does not make it easy.

Commercially, ethically and legislatively, I am ultimately responsible and accountable for the team’s well-being, successes, challenges and overhead, all of which is as fulfilling as it is a constantly challenging place to be.

In good times and in bad, I am the last line in stability - financial and cultural - it was a very chastening experience to sign my personal guarantee for our commercial mortgage a few years back despite it being a brilliant development for us - one stark piece of proof of accountability. It’s where the 4am wide-awake club begins and sustains along with many other things.

So how to temper this? Yes as MD, take on as much advice as you can, listen to the team and believe in the ideas of others but in the end, you are the one making that final decision - popular or otherwise. If you are the founder and an active MD as I am, nobody in a small business should be expected to have as wide and deep a view of the business as you do regardless of their capabilities.

All of this and more is where that loneliness festers but here’s what I say.

Treat it as a privilege, it’s special to be part of an award-winning team. And remember, it’s your own fault - you decided to be ‘unemployable’ and become the starter of things - so lean into it, trust those around you and celebrate the wins.

After all, 4am can still look pretty good at certain times of the year.

— Mark

mark@fortytwo.studio.

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